evaporating light

2/11/14, 12:47 PM

the time was blinking, ticking away, going south or was it north while we were going astray

found a twitch, was it a shake, was there a cookie in the oven to bake

like the cookies warm bundles of oat, walnuts, and chocolate melting in your hands, in your mouth, bringing warmth to your tummy in a time of the need of comfort,

 💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

comfort for the hell that remains in the mind

to every and any moment taking away your sight

rendering one blind

as blind as the evaporating light while the mind is in flight

💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

i don’t want to be here

i don’t want this pain

i don’t want to talk about it

dig those ghosts up from their graves

dig the skeletons out from the misty cloudy haze

 💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

i still have mine

in this ghost that is me

i know not to who these belong to

that is what i want to think, what i wish to believe

i want to be like a magician

take a look at what is up my sleeve

is this wand to make all of it just disappear

and too is it the fear

the uncertainty of it – just going around in a circle

coming back in that 360, because the 180 could not stop it

💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

so in the night

when the projector started playing on those eyelids

the electricity of the brain,

the light flickering the horror of death through the vast temple of love

and at the time of the jolt

again the light evaporates out of my eyelids to the pitch of the room

and then i see the colors that call me

come on down where it is safer

turn on the lights

turn on the computer

do anything

💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

watch a movie that your Veteran friend gave you

the one who gave us the prompt

dialogue with PTSD

the yin and yang of the group

actually there are two of them that i see in this group of writers

 💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

writing out the flesh tones of skin and bones and the air that we breathed

in another place, all of us,

from experiences drowned in frowns and art therapy for me and hopefully U

i mean is it writing, a drawing, or something or another on paper, or canvas

is it U that is the canvass

all we can do to run away from the realities known as true

in the worst of ways

we address so as to not give them strength

and to prevent the light from evaporating

💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

and so to the celestial skies we aim another try

is it star gazing from a star still unknown

a voice that wants to know home

and a place to roam

not like the lights are

flicked on in the blink of an eye

how we can turn them off with a toggle switch nor a timer

but this light, like the light infused with fog

hazy in the mind to making the sluggish lazy

while feeling crazy with all that is left inside

and knowing, that you have to do something to get it out

to get it all out, get it all the way out

from the quite shouting that rivets the body with a shrill that is uncontainable

though never visible nor audible

it is there in the nightmare screams never heard nor seen by another soul

just the memories of nothing being done to intervene

no hope of the hope that one wishes to dream

💥 ㊛ ☯ ㊚ 💥

just the light fading

from the faces of the monsters

from the faces of the demons

from the faces of death coming time and time again

as soon as one closes the eyes

could just be for a minute

even on the busses or on the trains

waiting for the next time

and again

then light evaporating

2/11/14, 1:10 PM

falling autumn