anxiety

125149 2.25.14

i feel it, i am it, i placed it in the dirt for a full course of short skirts making my palms wet

i have it, i hate it, i wash it in the morning from the sweat pouring from a freshly awoken face

freshly screaming from none of what the hell was dreaming, but a nightmares terror ripping across my face, my eyelids where it once for how many hour hid

anxiety

won’t U please

fly by me

won’t U please die like me

if U do, you may be my resurrection

so that i can get the hell out of this hell from spells not mine own but in battery cells

like the batteries that come against ones flesh in tests of time as to who U are when all but barely dead, and in deep puddles of dark reds, crimson deeper than the sins of those killing U, because it is another episode of death to U’r soul, to U’r person before finally leaving this earth

anxiety

for the “piety” of despotic tyrannical demagogues holding gavels over the people when their hedonistic ways hide within the power of their robes blackened with the dirt that they are

for the rulers with all capital rising high above you, enormity swelling, and no aspirin, nor all the lines of coke will get one penny squeezed into your pocket, even with all the blood sweat and tears thats been bared to the labor for these in the ruling class

for the challenged to brain strains with none of the worked genius fortifying the blocks one must travel in a hope to make it in this world, for the essence of life to be given in exchange for the contributions that they did make. those contributions forsaken by the powers that be that scream U are not worth it, to be above a substance wage, that you may do something greater in exchange of having gained maybe just one easy button for a change

anxiety

why do U always try me

trying always to surprise me

with a damping of the spirits like today before the writing workshop,

just a few words said to break my spirit

if there was a smidgen of hope in there somewher

lost to the words not meaning to smash it but they did

anxiety

anxieties in this pie in the sky that is harder for U and i to even get a slice of it from the skid row streets where some are subjugated to for the torment of disabilities unmanageable by even the doctors that we see, and the drug pimps that could give a shit of the outcome of being pacified or not, if even the symptoms are then to relinquish to a better day –

anxieties in a fire burning higher than the forests of lusting for life and everything good in it, or even just a simplified country side hideaway with my lover by my side – and a haven of everything needed for this mind of creativity and the mindset too of the woman that is with me – in a period of isolation, recuperation, smelling the greens and colored things that give fragrance to anxieties elimination, if even for the time that one can take the absence – if merely a recharging, let alone the fantasy of being way out there with a spa that melts away all the other stresses of anxieties havoc

anxieties in taking a timed writing just a mere 5 minutes more on such an empty word packed full of memories that could never diminish in a environment of devastation, just one replaces another and another replaces the last one and the only way out of those permanent bombardments could be some temporary fun, especially in the meaningfulness of the mind U are and the mind U are with

anxiety

i see U flying like a kite in the sky

dipping and diving with your tail just touching everybody as you fly on by

but you do not just fly on by

like the opposite of magic dust

you kill every bodies try in the why bother mindset that i some day hope to walk past

i somehow hope to run past, run fast in our every day – give you a blast

burn you like in the sky

so that everybody can see U in diss-asemblage as your chard pieces ablaze come floating to the ground like a snowflakes journey covering us fresh with the hope of life by just feeling the large flake melt calmly on our face and the water streams down as far as it can travel through the path of our skin, and we dodge your attempts to hit us one more time in your obliteration with your anticipation of recycled and rebirth of your spirit through the thoughts still not dead but deadening another part of we walking because the those not yet brought to the checkin at the spa, to massage out the negativity.

so trying, for all these years to be done with all this

anxiety

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shogun in Dragons Belly – skid row L.A.