i like aloneness i don’t like being lonely Rick’s Prompt

leave me alone Adam’s Prompt

other Veterans present – Eric, Lucy, Wes, and myself – kenneth james of course… just in case you did not see who’s blog this is,

The time current – i have not been able to post for the past few weeks, i have been too much in the difficulties of disabilities – that term is typically known as head-fuck! i hope everybody does

i like aloneness i don’t like being lonely

today is a difficult day

but i am glad i did not just stay in bed, want to drown the world out with loud sounds and fans while the room heats up to nearly 100º and i spiral into the complexities of everything bothering me at the same time, because of the pivotal core problems with no solutions.

yes, mournful is my spirit

be it for the life i wish i had

the life that was lost

the lives lost of those i do and don’t know

i like aloneness, but i don’t like being lonely

and if you get to close to my uncomforted zone

i will be sure to tell you

just leave me alone

unless of course i am already gone

here but gone

what, you don’t know this song

it is a sad song

some sing once a year

others all year long with few days in-between

we are those who likely always wish to go but …

 

well, it is when we don’t wish to go that the song is sang less

find me a reason

be a reason

create a reason

 

easier said than done

is that the bell that just wrung

well, not the toll bell

nobody is here to collect

unless of course, if there is something U wish to give

LOVE PREFERABLY

 

i hate being lonely

yearning

desiring

living vicariously

wondering if…

waiting for…

do U feel that it… is just on the verge to happening

 

for some it happens again and again

for some

…

 

chill out

i don’t know why

and it is too painful to explore the why, how, what, where, when

of lonely

 

but i believe i already know

for me that is

not for U

 

but the best thing to do

find a group

can you talk about it?

maybe talk about something else

anything else

but by all means

about something

 

this means i got out

this means you got out

yes, out of a closet

well… that is because my room is as small as a closet

so yes, i am a closeted… artist, hetero and not so sexual

not as i would love to be

lover

someone who hears the thoughts you never spoke

but knows them because they really feel your presence

they really feel my presence

 

oh, i know people

i read

like avid book readers of the day

what some or many know not how to read

experiences

 

don’t let yourself fall prey to the predacious

not for a day

and certainly not for a year

and if a year not for over a decade

definitely don’t let it pass 2

2 decades, that is way too much

 

but if you do

don’t blame yourself

i mean, put the blame where it belongs

and if it is partly you

don’t allow yourself to victimize yourself

by all means

let’s take the steps to change

i will come along

i will lend to you any of what i have learned

i will

tell me what you need to tell me

and you don’t need to tell me anything

talk about something totally different

 

but by all means

lets get out

lets talk about something else

lets do something a little different

 

even some time to yourself

in the mountain,

on a trail

the sands of a beach

the lights of city streets

from atop of a hill

 

and then, maybe something will spill

something you can tell yourself

if it is true

that reinforcement so you can start living it again

if there is no presence of what you want to be, what you yearn to be into as a relationship

then let us get there – or let’s talk about nothing related

it will help you to get there

let’s not be lonely

14:08:47

20 minutes on August 3rd 2016