Dreams – v – Negative Thinking

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today’s writing is based on a prompt from a writing from Emerson

out of the book – “The Power of Awareness” by Neville pg 89 & 90

Tuesday, November 19, 2013 @ 13:50:32

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all the words appeared to be to fast for my brain to train on their thought

the thought of Adams House, and Caesars house, and your house with the 100 acres

this house and that house

and make a life for yourself

make your own life

carve it out of what

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what U have

what U can make out of what U don’t have

and this positive thinking everybody tells me to get to

to stray far away from the negative thinking

I do hope that this will come to be

but how far from the negative must I go to get this break

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to make something

out of the art I do for therapy

the writings and reading too

it is not like I am Paris Hilton

nor am I Tupac

I am just another dead man

less the public relations, the agent, the life coach, singing coach, the coach for success

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I have friends true

true they are

with lives of their own, dreams sky high, I too hope they reach them

some of them high in the sky with so much realized

so happy I am for them

and too I realize they have given me precious time

at times we think on maybe a goal or two, maybe the goals that would see me to the road of life

this home, maybe it would be that I would one day walk through the doors

not on the miles of skid row floors

the piss and shit may I have some more

of course I am not asking, but always there it is for second and third helpings…

eeeewwwwhhhhh!

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the words of the poem

you are a man, you are a woman – both unto U’r own identities,

your own whatever it is that you are unto

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hell, that was such a slight of words

sounds like from the time of the writing of this poem

I don’t know that women had too much of anything of their own

always objectified, and something that belonged to a man

is it why… I mean why I at time refer to the earthlings

that is, when writing about humans men and women

in no gender variation, no ascription to the feminine nor masculine

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and so, too, I long for a lover for sure,

the feminine so today with their characters

varied and the traits of commonality , different from one to another

no, and so, we all on this journey

not the same journey as it was just 100 years ago, or maybe even 50 years ago when many more women were of households where men where “breadwinners”,

and some of these couples with way too many offspring,

they would never get a home because

they had way too much to do just to feed the mouths that were now in this world

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the essence of this poem, and I shall inform you on the bottom,

because, I barely heard it

it barely fit into my brain

it brought all of the strain of negativity to reality, back to life, if it was at all dormant within

and so I hear loud and clear I believe

from the words that lept {?} into the air from the lips of a reader – our fearless writing coach leader!

14:10:18

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in the ending of the poem, it is my encouragement, i mean

i already am and have been working on this thing called self negativity for many years now

it is difficult to get over – even with all the work that i do

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so, the things i still need are in this poem

and to regain my positive energy to its full capacity is coming through therapy being agencies, ART/POETRY, meditation, and also most important are my friends some also being family-some of which have adopted me to their family as well –                               that’s love from all i whom i know, helping me with the unfortunates depression & PTSD

as resilient as love is, is this depiction of love here

hopefully the pulse will be as equaling in my heart as it has/ and is getting back to…

how this heart has been a heart of giving!