today at the Veteran Writer’s Workshop

we did a new thing – we wrote from a prompt – specifically (Haiku by Norman Wm. Muse)

“winter rain

well after the divorce

the chill”

and we wrote it for 2 characters, i was not going to do it at first, as my parents divorced – and it is unsettling, but i did – and today, we had all guy Veterans, Rick and Adam, and myself, and Leilani our writing coach, and then Lucy – another Veteran arrived, she is new to the group, but we are not newly acquinted

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mom and dad

mom

she was never alone

but likely all alone in her secrets

after all

she was not supposed to tell

it was all the crazy that she had been put through

secrets

power

control

manipulation

cowardice

criminalistic

destruction

crazy

alone

all of it running through her veins

from what was done to her

and how she was used for the

was it the means of survival

in the dark ages leftovers

she was swimming in it

married her teen crush

the blonde bombshell was bombed

she did not know it

the things that happened

were said to be in the past

were told her – to sweep it under the carpet

it is water under the bridge

don’t do your dirty laundry in public

like mr. rogers said – it was him right

who said

paraphrased

that which is speakable can be healed

what would mom say

i caught up with her after the years of abuse passed on

trying to figure out how we could be family

i visited every week after school for about 2 or 3 months

until her mother – the generation of the leftover dark ages reared her head like a dragon snake

controlling, manipulating, wielding the power that was not hers – in her daughters home

years later

i caught up again, this was after her second divorce

the disgusting man that must have been at times dancing in her head

and what about that of her first husband

i know that she said she still loved him

that he never neglected her

not like her second husband – the contrary was the only speak with the evil twists

the twists representative of dark ages mingled with the new age of their time

and then the wine in the bottle

and the fight against cancer

and the drop off

the squeezed lemons into a glass

the purification

the lack of wanting anything more than life

and not wanting life at all

it is the chill

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dad

he started to drink

was there any think

was it deep to that of the person he had been to his first love

was it his first love

was there this innocent 50’s romance

one boy and one girl to come out of their own worlds of chaos

i did not find any truths revealed

as i was the little runt that stayed with him

and ill others went with the mom

i was the one on my own until he arrived home

the one who knows that the bottle of vodka was under the sink

the same way his dads vodka was kept under the sink

but it was not kept there when the all of us were living at 3547 N. Erie

now it was that the bottle was in rotation

1/4 full

1/3 empty

half full

2/3rds drank

i was not being beat anymore

that was a change

but with the alcohol siphoned to a wayward soul

was he then in thought of his sins

the sins against his vows

his commitment

was the memories of what he was put through

being washed in the second introspection, recollections, and reflections

feel the burn of ethanol down the gut cleansing the mind

or erasing it

erasing

time

infidelity

beatings

archaic

spirit

past

present

looking

to

future

did he reflect to the ways he failed

the ways of corrections for his children

the ways of controlling his woman

was it supposed to be that the woman was his

like a possession

like his children

where they supposed to instead be trusted to him

nurtured and guided by him as an equal to his wife

that they could all have separate paths that eventually one way or another

they would find

unfortunately without so much of that path cleared by him and his partner

did he think about that at all

his second marriage lasted

weathered the ups and downs

found the storms in tandem

worked through them

as random as they came

some elements must have been through the learning process

he had learned that he had no control

but still a temper furious

there was much more logic and reasoning

there was much more pain and despair

cancer caught him and eventually took him

there was the anguish

years of anguish

was everything then piled atop of one another

the physical pains with the failures in reflection

was there many times of introspection

and wishes that there could have been many times of correction

we seen a full circle if you will

we seen the request of forgiveness

we seen the times change

and with little time

as the character drained

but before the life had gone

eyes glassed over time and time again

was it then the angst of the unanswered storms

the unanswered failures bringing the success of change

from

the chill

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bridge the gap – closing the door to the dark ages